Poking around on The Huffington Post today I find a snippit about Steve Jobs possibly looking at a Liver Transplant, which linked to this article on Bloomberg.com. Jobs just recently took a leave of absence from Apple to get his health back in order, and didn’t really say too much about it in the press release on Apples website – but from all that I hear he’s a man who tends to enjoy his privacy when he can.

There has been a lot of play about his health in the media, and how Apple would survive if he were to leave permanently. Much noise was made, the stock fell, then rose, then it… well you get the idea. I admire what he has encouraged the company to do, and the direction that he has pushed Apple and pulled an Iacoca with them – but after all that he is just a man. Apple will survive without Steve, and what I think matters more than all of this, is that Steve survives all of this. I love my iPod and my Mac lappy, but who cares about Apple really? They didn’t save my life, my doc at UPMC did that when I got my transplant.

Any way, what I really wanted to say through all of this I hope Steve makes a full and speedy (as speedy as that can be) recovery if indeed he is need of a new Liver. God Bless Mr. Jobs.

Upon recommendation of one of the blogs I usually read; Presentation Zen, I took a look at Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED presentation:  My Stroke of Insight. The presentation itself was simply fascinating, the fact that she had such clarity of thought during what I could only expect to be a terrifying experience in the best of cases, is utterly amazing. Couples with her story telling ability, the whole package turns into a fascinating mix of spirituality, science and metaphysical philosophy.

What really struck home for me was during the portion where she spoke of her experience of being cut off from the analytic engine in the left hemisphere and the feeling of enormity that her body succumbed to. This is a feeling I know all too well. While my right brain excursion was not stroke induced, rather an artificial side effect of a mixture of Morphine and Oxycontin shortly after I was moved from the ICU to the transplant ward after my Liver Transplant.

I was placed in a rather small room at the end of the hall after coming upstairs due to the fact that I am resistant to antibiotics or VRE. It was shortly after this that it all went to hell in a hand basket. I became extremely anxious, agitated and confused. I was in pain, disoriented, dillusional and feeling very much like an observer to what was happening to me. I remember feeling like my hands were the size of basketballs and that the Pulse Ox on my finger was enormous and it felt heavy and hard to hold my hand up with it on there. During this whole time I had no idea what the hell was going on, and as my memory serves me I was scared as hell. I had just undergone a Liver Transplant 4 days prior, and no for some unknown reason I was freaking right the hell out, and I thought I was going off my nut. I had no conception of time during this time, just the very real sense that the room was getting smaller, with my head touching the wall behind me and my feet resting flat on the other wall. I would have to agree with Dr. Taylor in that this was "La la land." The difference was I felt no euphoria; it was not fun.

What I find most interesting is the assertion she makes about the functions of the two hemispheres working independently of one another; the right side living in the now, and the left working in the past, and future working for us as the planner and filer of our experiences. The brain is a fascinating bit of biological mechanics, and if you’re up for a very different perspective on what having a stroke is like; watch this presentation.

This is the first time I have really thought about that day in the 1 year, 2 months and 15 days since my transplant, and if I were to be honest; I’m glad my left hemisphere started working right again.

A few weeks ago I ran across another referral to my blog from another, Carl’s Liver Transplant. They live in Portland and are currently spending time at OHSU recovering from his transplant (8/8/2007). The latest update is that he is up and doing well, and I have to say that I am jealous that OHSU has WiFi for it’s patients – I know woopity doo! The last I checked I spend more than a normal amount on my computer, so it’s a big deal to me – and it made a big difference once I was able to get back into a semi-normal routine.

It’s always good to hear a fellow transplantee doing and recovering well, and God willing he will stay that way. Carl also had PSC. It seems, more and more, that I continue to hear about folks who have had or do currently have PSC – which maybe it’s the whole Bear following you around thing (see Lewis Black on this one), but it seems like there are a lot PSC’ers running around. Last I heard this was supposed to be fairly uncommon. I guess it’s the circles I run in.